• Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.

  • My wife left me because of my obsession with pasta. I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

  • What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The Space Bar.

  • I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing chess.